Vulcarsgrave and the Obsidian Tower

2011-02-26 Vulcarsgrave and the Obsidian Tower 01

Day 37 of Deidara, Freeman’s Year 609:

Donaldino Yorge the half-elf bard, Thunderhead Gloamingborne the dwarven fighter, and Scratch the elf rogue fought their way out of a dungeon, defeating many dangerous creatures, only to find that their efforts were but the first step in an interview process. After being rejected and denied the chance to carry out a mission for the gemcutter’s guild, the trio exit onto a bustling metropolis. Thunderhead won an amateur boxing match, scratch caught an orphan trying to pick his pocket, only to lose him again, and the group rested up at an inn to recover from their wounds.
After rest, the trio headed to the red light district for some R&R, but when Donaldino refused to pay, Thunderhead and Scratch came to the rescue, leaving some pimps cut in half. The next day, they were approached and met a local businessman Simeon Timbimbler who, upon hearing of their exploits in the Red Light Distric, offered them 200 gp each to kill Algon Swiftish, the head of the pimps. DY, GT, and Scratch searched the streets of old city, found Swiftish’s home, broke in, and pillaged the house. As they split up the loot they’ve found, they hear someone coming through the main doors…h3. Your title here…

2011-03-15 Vulcarsgrave and the Obsidian Tower 02
"you've damaged my servants!"

Day 38 of Deidara, Freeman’s Year 609

Caught in the middle of ransacking Algron Swiftish’s house, the Faterinos, having left Scratchbehind at the Inn and recruited Nabayo K, decided to stand their ground and fight Algron Swiftish and his two flunkies. Though able to dispatch the two flunkies with relative ease, Algron proved a formidable opponent, bringing Thunderhead Gloamingborn close to death. Though badly wounded and cornered, the Faterinos refused to reveal the nature of their mission and narrowly escaped with their lives.

After splitting up, they met back at the Inn (forgot name), but decided to move to a new location lest they be tracked. Traveling to the Beastly District, the Donaldino Yorge bluffed his way passed the innkeeper Bronum Rigsby at The Inn of the Sleepless Lantern, telling him that his party were on a secret mission and that discretion was a must should anyone come looking for them.

Too many gingers

I’ll keep this succinct. Algrin was an ass. “How dare we?”, bullshit. Then sending that ridiculous ginger. He deserved to die a hundred dick-piercing deaths. There’s only room for one Paul Rudd type, Devreaux Clad. Bye bye! I did enjoy the accommodations at the Inn of Sleepless Lantern. But what part about “do not disturb”, did that idiot Bronam Rigsby, not understand. I hope to meditate more and fully exercise my favored enemy

first kill...dreamy

Day 45 of Deidara, Freeman’s Year 609

Well, what an adventure. My first kill, dreamy. Very happy that whilst in a deep medatative state, a rapier was purchased, better for killing and raping. I am pleased Scratch had enough sense to convince us to abstain from condemning Gideous to a certain death, by my hands. I am saddened by my inability to distract barkeeps. The acid plan just may have worked, if I were better able to entertain the barkeep while Donaldinho slipped in the acid. Alas, I still capped that son of a bitch. And that is all I got.

Thunderhead's Journal

Day 45 of Deidara, Freeman’s Year 609

I find myself in the company of a rogue with a weak stomach and a quick blade, a whoremongering bard, and a ranger at war with herself. Truly, Elves and Half-Elves are the most difficult to deal with of all the races in the wide world. Give me a stupid orc to deal with any day of the week, at least I know exactly how such a fell beast should be treated. Yet…I find my companions, the self-appointed Faterinos, growing on me by the day. Our meeting in the Gem Guilds challenge was truly an act of Moradin. In the time since we’ve been together, we have stared down death a dozen times, and somehow walked away. Lying disabled in the mansion of Algrin Swiftus, I thought my ruin had been written, yet the faces of Donaldino George and Nabayo appeared before me to lend me healing and strength. They proved to be most loyal companions on that day.

Since then, I have shared many adventures with my…do I dare to call them friends? If not for them, I would never have met my beloved Cirrus, that acrobatic she-beast who sees the beauty of Dwarven love and love-making. Through our lust for adventure and treasure and slaying we defeated the evil Colonel Heradura, and freed an entire village. Now, we head north to slay orcs with the noble Gidius, a man who owes us his life. Perhaps all my dreams are coming true, and my quest for vengeance can finally be put to rest…………or perhaps not. Time will tell what destiny awaits the Faterinos.

Thunderhead's Journal Part II

Day 47 of Deidara, Freeman’s Year 609

The caprices of the Gods are beyond the ken of Dwarf or man or elf. I find myself in a dank Orcish cave surrounded by my fellow Faterinos as well as Gidiusand his men. The stink of foul orc corpses has yet to leave this place, and I doubt the lingering impact of their evil deeds ever will. Still, NabaYo Kinderhookian, Donaldino Yorge, and the guileful Scratch remain in decent spirits as we have yet to meet our match in battle. We have taken on a new Faterino, the decent, reckless Woodbine Grimsleep, a man who had dedicated his life to vengeance. With his vengeance sated, and the life of his enemy slipped away, so too did Woodbine’s purpose in this world. I know the feeling.

Vengeance becomes a pursuit that perpetuates for its own sake long after the flares of rage have burned to embers then to nothing but the barest flicker of an abiding anger that shall never diminish, shall never dissipate even after the guilty are punished and the wrongs have been set right. Perhaps wrongs can never be set right, but we spend whatever time the Gods have allotted us doing our best to balance the scale in favor of justice, of righteousness. I know that my actions are hasty. I know that I am too quick to draw my axe, and worse, to swing it; however, I believe that when I go before Moradin for judgement, he will find me not wanting in bravery, nor in stoutness of heart. He will ask me why I took the course I did, imperfect as it may have been, and I will reply that I did my best. That will be enough. At least, that is my hope.

The facts are simple. Gidius lies gravely wounded in the cave. I know not which God he believes in,

Buried Within...

Day 53 of Deidara, Freeman’s Year 609

I have been sitting in this dark barren dank room for days after coming mere seconds away from meeting good ole Garl Glittergold.  Our gang came inches away from perilous defeat, but we triumphed thanks to the ingenuity of all. After all, we are the Faterinos! 

Although I may be recovering from my physical wounds, my mind remains in a state of turmoil and anguish.  We have barricaded ourselves in this room to heal with no ventilation.  I have stuffed split rope into my nostrils from the rank stench over the days.  In fact a bloodied, gimped Woodbine just defecated in the corner.  But bemoan more I will not. Nevertheless, despite this, nothing resides here but the wondrous shimmering black pearl. Its glare blinds me with temptation. It taunts me with its stare!  Imagine what powers it may hold (and what price it might fetch).  Yet Thunderhead forbids me from nearing it. Damn that blubbering dwarf! I must have it. Yet a pestering force of heroism surrounds our band of adventurers. I am reluctantly drawn in. Their bravery and fortitude in the face of unknown evil eases my cynicism.  For what reason has Fate brought us unlikely characters together? Perhaps the answer lies within this mysterious crypt…

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Two prostitutes by cellar fcpAcrobatsBottom of waterfall


Thunderhead's Journal Part III

Vulcarsgrave and the locks of the blackstone river

Day 56 of Deidara, Freeman’s Year 609

A saying of my kin and kith is, “Constant rain wears away stone.” Persistence, dogged determination in the face of seemingly impossible adversity, be it in the form of enemies too tall, mines too dark, oceans too wide, will always win the day. The Faterinos must learn to embody this axiom or we will die. There is no other path. I fear we have cast the dice, and now we must stand by and pray that the right number comes up. I should explain. After our ill-fated battle with the trident wielding statues, we were more clever in our approach to the living stone guardians. We were able to string a few up to that blasted monolith and drop them down, cracking one instantly, but calling down another pair of bastards upon our heads. We were never quite able to ken the damnable workings of that underwater chamber. Scratch eventually prevailed upon us to take the shining iron, the milky pearl, and the volcanic rock. Of course, at this point, in our usual foolhardy fashion, we managed to trigger some kind of defense mechanism that drowned the entire Temple of the Cimmerian. Scratch and I were able to find a passage carved into the base of the platform that first pulled us down, but for long minutes we feared Donaldino, Scratch, and Nabayo were lost to the wash of time, drowned by our own greed and foolishness. Thankfully, they were able to escape from that tomb. We were not yet ready to be added to the residents of that foul place.

I fear what we have unleashed on the world. It was always my opinion that the artifacts were key components to completing some kind of magical defense mechanism.

Yorge, Out Of Teh Myst!!!
flatulence, mystery

OK OK OK! I have gone into the phtuture and learned that phrase from Martin Van Buren with MAGICK!!!! OMG! I learned that one from a man called UH, SURE!! I control time and space from the space inside my mind and the time I spend there. Mebbe you have noticed that I (D.Y.) am not entirely PRESENT at all times in combat. EVEN NODDING OFF (DREAMS MOST PRESENT!!!!) THAT is because Misturrr Yorge loves THE MIND. I live there! I love there!!! Erogenous ZONE OF SIZE most notable! I spend many days in my mind enraptured in stories and tales much more pressing than the life and death situations I find myself in AT THAT VERY MOMENT!!! Recently, while fighting those celestial stooges of wood and brick a brack, I was ensconced in an elaborate Tuna Salad Three way with not one but Two cumly lasses three! It was most enjoyabale (the joy most similar to that of an ale!). TUNA SALAD was involved! I am wondering do have a bowl of chowder to spare? A JOKE!!

However, it was always not so. I have secrets to share and share them I MUST!!! I can’t help it, it is so Yorgey to do this thing called sharing! so share I myst? MYST sucks! MUST! MUST! MUST!

OK OK, (THank U MVB!!!) the truth is that I am only as good as my last act of sensual coupling! It has been many meetings since I dipped my wick in the vat of wet and I have become pre-occupied with thoughts of filthy acts and stained drapery! It consumes me! PENETRATION! ARBITRATION! It causes me to lose focus in times of peril. PLZ, get me some activity of combined closeness soon so I can focus on my active duties, Faterinos! This backlog of milk of man-nesia is causing my thoughts to become a non-stop parade of things best left un-articulated. Perhaps as we head to Vulcarsgrave again, I can slick my Surge can down the slip and slide of woman form again soon and engage in battle as a man most present and most TUMESCENT!!!

at the very least, let me squeeze one off in the bushes from time to time!



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